Friday, September 7, 2007

Pinks

Today was great. Except take great and think of the opposite of that and that's what my day was like. The only good thing that happened was that this morning instead of watching Pinks when I got up Todd had on Sportscenter. Small little victories, I suppose. Damn, I hate that show Pinks. First of all its on the Speed channel, which is the most moronic concept to begin with.

Anyhow, if you haven't seen it here's a little synopsis and every episode pretty much plays out like the one before. Two guys talk $hit and rev their engines, then they talk some more $hit about who's dick is bigger, I mean who's car is faster. Then they race. Whoever loses the race bitches and moans and complains as if it wasn't his fault. Then the baldheaded twerp who hosts the show starts trying to get them to compromise and the guy who lost is supposed to get "lengths." Yeah I know...how funny is that? Lengths would be car lengths and that's how far the loser gets to start out ahead in the next race. Anyway, they argue about lengths for a while until they agree on a certain number and then they race again. What I don't get is why should the loser get any "lengths" in the first place. If your car lost the race, you suck. If you get "lengths" and win the race is that really going to make you feel good about winning? It would be like a cheap win.

Anyway there is usually about 5 races. It is so drawn out and boring. The only good show was the one where the baldheaded twerp tried to be cool and ride a motorcycle and he ended up crashing. It was awesome. I was in such a good mood for the rest of the day after I saw that.

Anyway, enough about Pinks. This morning I had to go get an MRI and I've already told you how much I hate them. I have to drive to Univ of Penn and I am the biggest idiot because no matter how many times I've gone there with Amy, I still got lost. Like lost driving around the city and calling people and crying my eyes out. Thank god for Tina, Renee, Jodi, and Alisha. Yes it took that many people to help me find my way. By the time I got to the hospital I was hysterical...I go to Penn Tower, which is where I was told to go when the appointment was made. I'm sitting in the waiting room for 1/2 hour and this thought occurs to me: Dwight Schrute is right. There is way too many freaking people on this planet.

I mean this place was teeming with people, breathing all over the place and talking on cell phones to even more people taking up room in other places. I started getting nauseous just thinking about all the people sitting there. We need some sort of plague, but quick. I know you're thinking, "but Gwen, you're a person, you're breathing and taking up space." I know. I'm probably the worst one of all.

Anyway, after holding my vomit back for a while I sort of calmed down and started doing some logic puzzles. For some reason they seem to relax me like Xanax. And I didn't have any Xanax with me. Dumb move, Gwen, dumb move. Finally the lady calls me up to the registration desk and is all "You're in the wrong place, you need to go to Dulles building". Holy Mother of Jesus Christ. So I go all the way over to the other building which is like 10 miles away and wait over there for a while. They call me up to the registration desk again and tell me that I am in the wrong place and need to go back to Penn Tower. I am not kdding. These people don't know what the hell they're doing and I am trusting them with my life? So I just sort of go limp and say "I'm so confused" and I think the lady got a bit afraid of me, something in my eyes was transmitting crazy vibes. I love when that happens. So she makes a phone call and says, "we can take you here". Hooray for craziness! So after filling out a bunch of paperwork, like a bazillion nosy ass questions. to be continued...

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