I saw something the other day that made me wish I were blind. It was the sign out front of a new tanning salon. It read: Caribbean Tanz. What happened in our culture that made it suddenly cool and edgy to murder the English language? What did the English language ever do to you people? If the American public were on trial for their crimes against grammar, here is the evidence:
Exhibit A: gurlz, tanz
Exhibit B: My baby daddy, Now Open Monday's
Exhibit C: Chillin, Trippin, etc.
The motive here is an apparent hatred for the letters "S" and "G", and an inappropriate relationship with the letter "Z". There also seems to be a confusion on the part of the perpetrator about the use of possessives.
It's one thing for stupid teenagers to abuse perfectly innocent words. They're young enough that rehabilitation is still possible. But when adults who have the wherewithal to open a legitimate business name said business "Caribbean Tanz", God help us all. That is why I hate Toys "R" Us and its hell spawn Babies R Us. It's bad enough that they use "R" instead of "are", but they have to make the despicable "R" backwards too. If I had the resources I would set every one of those stores on fire and have fireworks light the sky with the words "Out of Business "R" You".
Am I perfect? No. Have I ever made a grammatical error? Of course. The difference is I don't do it on purpose. And if I do, I have the decency to be ashamed of myself.
P.S. If you are scratching your head and thinking, "What's wrong with 'Now Open Monday's'" then I don't want to be your friend anymore.
7 hours ago