Games I Play

When I was little I used to love to play games. Who didn't? I realize now that all those games, while masking as innocent fun, were really lessons for life. I still play games. It's just not fun anymore.

Jenga - when I'm trying to balance one more bottle on the top of an already overflowing recycling bin.

Clue - when I'm trying to find my husband's keys, wallet, brain, take your pick on any given day.

Memory - when I am trying to match up an entire laundry basket of socks. And this I do only when I have no choice, because our feet are fucking freezing,and mommy has been procrastinating resolving the dregs of socks that gather at the bottom of the laundry pile.

Operation - When I'm taking a splinter out of a tiny finger, removing a whopper from a Dora the Explorer Telescope, and tweezing my eyebrows when I don't have time to get them waxed.

Hungry, Hungry Hippos - When Todd, Liv and I are fighting over the last munchkin

Candyland - When I'm satisfying my constant, voracious appetite for all things sweet. (This one is fun)


52 Pick up - When I'm employing my particular brand of housekeeping. One thing at a time. Pick up glass, put it in the sink, pick up the wet diaper, put it in the trash, pick up the coat hanging on the back of the chair, put it in the closet...but before any of this can happen, pick up the lazy ass woman, put her to work.

Tag - When Todd and I look at each other in alarm at the horrible odor wafting into our nostrils and I say "I just changed a shitty diaper, tag, you're it."

Pin the Tail on the Donkey - Well it's not so much pin the tail on the donkey as it is me trying to pin the smack on the tail as I chase my daughter around the house when she refuses to sit on a time out. Once the smack lands it's kind of like hitting a pinata, only, instead of candy, obscenities pour out of her mouth.

Gin - Well I don't actually play gin, so much as I drink it.