Grief

Well I'm into my grief almost two weeks now and I have to say, it is not at all what I expected. I guess I thought I would be non-functional when Amy passed away, I thought I wouldn't be able to even get out of bed. But here I am in this sort of numb fog, going through the motions of life, eating, drinking, even laughing sometimes, in a parody of what was once my normal life, a normal life which of course means, a life in a world where Amy existed. And then once in a while, it will hit, this wave of pain so deep and searing, and it takes me under and I can't breathe. Once the tears have come and then gone, a calm comes over me. A calm I know can only be coming from Amy. In this way, I know she is sending me strength from above. Because I have to keep going without her, I have to for Liv. But sometimes I don't want to.
Losing someone you love really sucks.