Monday, June 11, 2007

Zen Gwen

Well here it is. My first blog. You've been anticipating this for so long, I just know it. Just dying to have some light shed on the innermost workings of my twisted mind. I hate to disappoint you but at the moment I'm feeling really mellow. Maybe it's the hour...11:00 pm is really late for me anymore. I know; I'm old. Maybe it's the Dilaudid I just took because my back hurts. Like really, really hurts. I thought yoga was supposed to be GOOD for a person. I am probably the only person on the face of the planet that finds a way to make yoga hurt. Oh well. I'll keep going because I'm sort of addicted to it at this point. This fact really classifies me as a lazy person, that is if the 30 hours of television I watch weekly didn't already do that. For one thing, this form of exercise was chosen because a good portion of the time is spent "breathing" (fancy sanskrit word = pranayama) and resting (fancy sanskrit word = shivasana). Spinning Class? Kickboxing Class? Step/Cardio/Muscle Tone/Hip Hop Boot Camp/Jumping around looking like an idiot because I can't follow the complicated dance-like moves Class? Get behind me, Satan! When I'm working out in front of a bunch of people, I'd rather not feel like a complete fool. In fact, I want exercise to make me feel (and, if possible, look) like a goddess.

I'm pretty good at breathing, and also laying on my back (Hey now...get your mind out of the gutter). Mountain pose (aka standing) - I'm marginally good at standing too. If I don't have to do it for too long. My favorite pose (fancy sanskrit word = asana) is Warrior. For some reason, I feel totally bad ass in this asana. I guess that is sort of the point.

Anyway, for those of you following my never-ending health saga, my biopsy results are in and guess what? I don't have my breast...yet. But I won't rest until I find out what the hell is wrong with me...because I can assure you that something is. And when I die, I want a really pretty tombstone engraved with the simple, yet appropriate, phrase "I told you I was sick". Good night!!!!!!

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