My husband has pulled ahead in the kidney stone contest. So basically the score is three to two. Pretty impressive work to form a 5mm stone in just 6 months time. Of course, this meant that I spent a good five hours in the ER yesterday morning. He's my husband. I love him dearly so I really don't mind sitting by his side while he squeezes my hand to keep from screaming at the ripping, nauseating agony of a jagged piece of gravel making it's leisurely way down his ureter. What I do mind is watching him receive delicious IV pain medication without receiving any of my own. That is real torture.
This chipper ER tech evaluated Todd in the Triage room. He was so chipper, in fact, that he whistled as he walked us to our sad, little ER room. I didn't recognize the song, but it was for sure a happy little ditty. Now there may be a time and a place for whistling, but I am pretty sure an ER is not one of those places. People are having a time, possibly the worst day of their miserable lives, with various tubes placed in orifices, perhaps bleeding to death or shitting themselves or going insane or recovering from a gun shut wound. This moron's whistling felt pretty disgusting. It reminded me of all my readers who commented about whistling people giving them the stabby feelings. And suddenly I started getting stabby feelings of my own towards this whistler. Fuck you, fucking whistler. Stop being so fucking happy in a terrible, terrible place.
What makes me feel more stabby is the fact that the stupid ER doctor prescribed my husband only twelve 5 mg percocet with which to continue this torture at home. Umm, 5mg percocet? Really, asshole? Those things are like fucking tic-tacs. While he's in the ER he's treated with the strongest narcotics to control his pain. Then when his pain is under control with the strongest narcotics they send him home with fucking tic-tacs? What the fuck kind of sense does that make?
So now Todd is trying to give birth to his third stone. God bless him. But I tell you what - There's no way I'm losing this contest. I'm working on my 3rd stone as we speak. It's going to be a good one.
2 hours ago