Wednesday, July 15, 2009

I Don't Care Where You Are

Is it just me or are there way too many "Where Are They Now?" articles and TV segments in the media lately? I'm sick to death of it. Sick, as in I don't give a shit what happened to Danny Pintauro, or the unfortunate looking son from Roseanne, or Kimmy Gibbler, or Steve Urkel, or any other obscure child star of a TGIF sitcom. If I gave even a tiny fraction of a fuck where these people were, I would already know that information. I feel like every time I turn on my computer to AOL I'm rewarded with a smarmy glamour shot and a question: Remember Brad from Home Improvement? See what he's up to now... Then I have to remember something that I really don't want to remember and that's the fact that no I don't remember Brad from Home Improvement because I spent my Thursday nights sitting in an ass numbing chair while I listened to droning on sermons about the Ministry and Jehovah and no end of bullshit. Thanks for reminding me about all the TV that I didn't get to see. Did you ever notice how they put all the shitty sitcoms on Friday nights? Fucking TGIF. Family Matters? Carl Winslow made me sick to my stomach with all his judgmental antics. Why exactly was Urkel never good enough for his daughter? He seemed like a nice enough kid. And here's fucking Father of the Year rolling his damn eyes acting all put upon by a nerdy kid. And his wife? Don't get me started on that one.

Here's the thing, I have a brother - my own flesh and blood that I grew up with and I don't even know where the fuck he is right now. Last I heard he lived in Florida but he could have moved by now and you know what? I don't care. It's not that I don't love him. I just don't care where he is all that much. So if I don't give a shit where my own brother is, why in the name of all that's holy would I give a damn about that stupid "How rude" moppet or the one that wore the hats?

12 comments:

  1. and there's my priority check for the day! good job!

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  2. I'm actually more concerned about my complete apathy about my 25th high school reunion. Apparently I couldn't give a damn where any of the 599 people are that I graduated with.

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  3. I have a sister who I don't exactly know where she is. I mean, I know approximately where she is - somewhere in California, just not exactly. And, you know, we're on good terms, we just aren't all up in each others business I guess.

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  4. See, I know where most of my siblings are most of the time. Just not the loser who lives with my parents. Could care less.

    Also? Dood. What happened to Screech (kidding)?

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  5. I don't have a clue who most of the people are you're talking about. But I am sad about your brother. I don't talk to my brother that often...the occasional text or email, but I do know where he is and I know that if I needed him, he'd be there.

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  6. I think I'm pop-culture deficient. I never know who these "where are they now" people are. Unless they are from cheesy scifi shows of my childhood. And then ... still don't care.

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  7. Right on.

    I am up to here with celebrities in general, actually. Or more important, the people who hold them above others.

    It's very annoying.

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  8. However, if one of your regular reads didn't post for a few days, you'd be all over that shit with an email. Am I right?

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  9. You'd think "journalists" could find something a little more interesting to write about on slow news days. Apparently not. Don't know about you, but I definitely don't want to be reminded of anything Steve Urkel-related, now or at any time in the future...

    And as for brothers, they're sometimes pretty hard to give a shit about. One of mine is a bit of a mystery, too. I have some idea of where he's living, and I get a text message in the middle of the night from him every few months, but mostly I don't know how to feel about him. So I don't feel anything. Of course I love him on some basic level, because he's my brother, but other than that, I kind of 'nothing' him. But some nights, I wake up panicking, afraid that he's dead and no-one knows. I wish brothers were easier.

    I love your blog, Gwen.

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  10. I saw a What Not to Wear episode with Blossom. That was a "where are they now" I kind of enjoyed.

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  11. I'm not sure where my sister is from day to day. We've got the same disease and hers is kicking her ass and I can't really deal with it.

    And Gypsy, I had the biggest crush on Blossom. How's she looking these days?

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  12. u are my new favorite. it isn't even new baby insomnia speaking . . .

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