Apparently I Really Am a Monster

***I have a bad habit of posting something, then taking it down right after because I worry about how it will be received. Also, I don't want to "beat a dead horse" with this issue, or for my readers to feel obligated to comment because I'm having a bit of a time with a person who may or may not be a troll. It's back up now, to stay.***

According to "Anonymous", anyway. I know I probably shouldn't indulge this person, but I feel compelled for some reason.

Ponder this gem of a comment left on my blog yesterday:

I would never, EVER, spank my child. I have to wonder if you and the other
mothers who hit their kids would mind if your husbands smacked you too if they
felt you were out of order. Why is it illegal to smack a spouse, but not a
child? And just because people used to do it in the past means nothing. Slavery
was once the norm too, but should we still be running around now shackling every negro we see? Some things should change. And if you can't control your child
without hitting them, you have very little imagination. I suppose for you and
the other moms on here it's a "do as I say, not as I do" approach as you're all
obviously the lazy and unintellectual lumpen (you may have to look that word
up), but it's completely, totally and utterly illogical and, frankly, now that I
know you spank your kids I will never read your blog again as you disgust me. A
pox upon your house and those of your moronic, hillbilly, white trash
friends

My reply:

Anonymous - Interesting perspective. Truth be told, I wouldn't want a person
who wishes a "pox upon [my] house]" to read my blog anyway. It makes me curious that you should condemn me for a brand of discipline (which I use very rarely), while you feel comfortable wishing a viral disease upon my family and friends. I think it's moronic to compare the enslavement of human beings to a mild smack upon the rear of a recalcitrant child. It seems quite a leap in logic there. I
am not a perfect parent, nor do I claim to be.

Now I'm a pretty open and reasonable individual. I do not mind being challenged or questioned on my belief systems or behaviors. I invite lively debate on important issues. I am very willing to work to change my belief systems and behaviors if I am convinced to do so by a compelling, logical argument. But it is very difficult for me to open my mind to the reasonings of an individual who:

1. Fails to identify him or herself but instead hides under the veil of "Anonymous"
2. Uses a word like "negro", that really has no place in our modern vernacular
3. Compares the actions of a loving (though admittedly imperfect) parent to the brutal enslavement of human beings
4. Creepily wishes a viral disease upon my home at the end of his/her argument.

The opening of the comment was fine and definitely food for thought. It makes no difference to me whether or not "Anonymous" would never, EVER, spank his/her child. I gather he/she feels quite pleased with him/herself about that. Of course, I would not accept a "smack" from my husband. [Well, I would just not in the context of discipline ; )] Using this as an argument against, again mild, corporal punishment of children is nonsensical. I wouldn't accept a time-out or denial of privileges from my husband either, but I would be perfectly comfortable imposing those sanctions on my child as consequences for her misbehavior. I am not a child. I am an adult woman. There are a lot of ways we handle and control children that we wouldn't other adults. There are many restrictions we impose on children that would be considered abuse to impose on other adults and rightly so. Children need loving external discipline and authority from their parents in order to learn how to impose internal discipline when they are grown. I believe Democracy to be the most superior form of government for adults. Is it cruel, then, that my home is not a democracy? Children do not have the same rights and privileges as adults because they are not fully developed and require special protection. A smack we deliver to another adult is not the same thing as a smack we deliver to a child. It means something entirely different.

If my child runs into the street despite my having told her not to, I will attempt to discipline her by way of explaining exactly why her behavior is dangerous. I will explain a consequence if she does it again. If she insists on doing it again, I will carry out the consequence. Some children do not always respond to time-outs. Some children do not always respond to loss of privileges. My daughter is one of those children. Maybe, the commenter is correct in saying I lack imagination. I guess I'm not as perfect and wonderful a parent as he/she is. That is regrettable. But my number 1 goal, at the end of the day, is to keep my child alive, to protect her from all of the things in the world that can hurt her. If the only thing that keeps my daughter from running into the street is a mild smack to her posterior, then I will do that. It is not about laziness. It is not malicious. It is not something I like to do. There are worse things in life than a temporary sting. I don't like to force my child to submit to the painful sting of a needle for her vaccinations, but I do it. The temporary sting of a needle could save her life one day.

I never claimed to be intellectual or imaginative. I am human, with all the weaknesses and failings that come of being so. It does make me cry to think that there is someone out there who thinks I am so contemptible, so "lumpen". Yes, I did have to look that up because I am that unintelligent as to not know the meaning of the word. Here is what it means:

Of or relating to dispossessed, often displaced people who have been cut off from the socioeconomic class with which they would ordinarily be identified: lumpen intellectuals unable to find work in their fields.
Of or relating to the lumpenproletariat.
Vulgar or common; plebeian:

I suppose "Anonymous" is right on the money in referring to me as such. I am common, plebeian, dispossessed, and capable of vulgarities. I take offense, not for myself, but at the implication that my "friends" can, in any way, shape or form, be put into such a category, or called derogatory names like "white-trash, hillbilly, or moronic". You may judge me all you like only leave the people I love and respect out of the blanket condemnation.

I will lay my head upon the pillow tonight, and it will be a million pounds heavier, full of all the guilt and self-loathing that comes of realizing that I have failed my daughter in ways I can't understand. I only know that I love her, with every bone, breath, sinew, and muscle inside of me. I would lay my body on a bed of daggers, I would hurl myself into dark waters full of man-eating creatures, I would burn alive for all eternity fully conscious and writhing in agony, just to keep her her tiny chest rising and falling with living breaths, her fragile heart thudding rhythmically inside of her. Did you know that monsters were capable of loving like that?