Pigpen Gwen

Current mood:accepting I’m a lazy ass

I complain a lot about my tiny little condo and how there is no room and I have no where to put anything and its always a mess because of all of the above. But I realized something today. Something that speaks volumes about the depth of my laziness. It seriously knows no bounds. I actually like having an excuse to have a messy house. It's like if I did have the room to put things I would probably just have more things to fill it up and then it would still be a mess. I guess this as much a testament to our material excess as it is to my laziness. But when your house is one big chaotic clutterball, it is like surrendering. And in a weird way, it feels like freedom at the same time. I hope that you don't think less of me for that. I sort of do. But it doesn't take much for me to hate myself these days.

I feel like everyone I know has a neat house and cleaning routine. I mean, I once encountered my sister in law cleaning her blinds at 7 am (Love you Ash!). I thought it was odd at the time, but now I'm starting to think that I'm like the kid from Peanuts who had fruit flies buzzing around his head all the time. And that everyone else is Martha Stewart buzzing around polishing the silver and making fruit centerpieces for Sunday dinner. I'm so in the dust when it comes to that stuff. Literally and figuratively. Emptying my dishwasher is actually painful. I curse under my breath when I put clothes from the washer into the dryer. And it always occurs to me that I wouldn't survive in those days when they had to scrub each piece of clothing on those metal broiler pan looking thingies in the big tubs of water. I would have put a bullet in my head right quick. As it is, I'm content to teeter on the edge of civility. I get by. If I knew you were coming over, I could run around in 20 minutes and make my home presentable. But if you come over unannounced - don't expect me to answer the door.